The first year back
After my divorce I treated dating like a job search. 31 dates, a spreadsheet, and I cried in the car 19 times. It took about fourteen months to stop auditioning.
“Fine is the problem.”
Maya’s dating notebook
Dating Coach
…or a matchmaker? Let’s figure out which one you actually need.
A dating coach helps you change how you date. A matchmaker finds the dates for you. Maya’s notebook shows what each one costs, what to check before you pay, and who to call.
Or skip to what you’re dealing with:
- Just divorced
- Dating after 50
- Worried it’s a scam
- What does it cost?
- Reading a contract
- Coach or therapist?
Cities we cover: Austin, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Los Angeles, Nashville, New York City, Orlando, Philadelphia, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, Washington · all cities
Hi, I’m Maya.
I’m 38, I live in Portland, and I’ve been dating on and off for 14 years. Two long relationships, one divorce at 34. This site is my notebook, cleaned up. Real prices, real contract terms, and the questions I wish I’d asked before I paid anyone.
Start here
Three ways in. Pick the one that sounds like you.
Work on youA dating coachHelp with your profile, your patterns and your nerve. You still do the dating.Dating coach near me →Someone searches for youA matchmakerA person who screens and introduces you. Pricier, so read the contract first.Matchmaking services near me →Near youBy cityReal local providers we checked, with published prices where they exist.Browse by city →
How it works
Tell us. We match. You decide.
It’s free, and you don’t need an account.
- 1
Tell us
Two quick steps: your city, what you want, and how to reach you. Your request goes to Maya, and only Maya.
- 2
We match
Maya reads it herself and looks for a coach or matchmaker who works in your city and fits your budget.
- 3
You decide
If she has someone, she emails you about an introduction. Saying no is fine.
30-second version
Coach vs matchmaker in 30 seconds
| Dating coach | Matchmaker | |
|---|---|---|
| What they do | Help you change how you date | Search, screen and introduce people to you |
| What you do | The dating, with homework | Show up to the dates and give feedback |
| Best for | Patterns, nerves, profiles, boundaries | Busy people who want someone else to search |
| Won’t do | Find you a partner | Fix why the last five went wrong |
| Cost | Dating coach cost | Professional matchmaker cost |
Still torn? Read the full matchmaker vs dating coach guide, or take the quiz.
60-second quiz
Coach or matchmaker?
Start with a matchmaker.
You want someone else to do the searching and you have the budget for it. Treat it like the luxury service it is: ask for references and a written refund policy before you pay. Read what a professional matchmaker costs and the matchmaker contract checklist first.
Start with a dating coach.
You want structure and someone to keep you honest, and you'd rather not spend matchmaker money to find out what's working. Read what a dating coach costs and bring these questions to ask a dating coach to the first call.
It's close. Try the cheaper one first.
A few coaching sessions will tell you a lot before you sign a long matchmaking contract. Here's the full matchmaker vs dating coach breakdown.
Want Maya to point you to someone? Get introduced ·
Price check
What it actually costs
Published prices only. Every number links to where we found it.
- $75–$170One 45-minute dating coach session, depending on the coach’s levelGrowing Self · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- $1,200Four coaching sessions over three monthsA Little Nudge · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- $1,695/moStarting monthly price for a matchmaking-style serviceVIDA Select FAQ · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- 3 daysBusiness days New York gives you to cancel a dating service contractNY GBL § 394-c · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
From Maya’s notebook
Fourteen years of dating, written down so you can skip a few chapters.
Ghosted
Six weeks. I met his friends. Then silence, then a thumbs-up three days later.
“Closure is something you build, not something you get.”
The apps
Forty micro-decisions a day. I deleted them for six months and my personality came back. Now: 15 minutes a day, no swiping after 9 p.m., never on a bad day.
“Matches aren’t the bottleneck. Attention is.”
A friend’s experience
$6,000 for a six-month matchmaking package. Four introductions. No refund, because the contract allowed substitutions, not refunds.
“A very expensive lesson in reading the fine print.”
Questions people ask
What does a dating coach do?
A dating coach helps you see your own patterns and change how you date: profiles, first messages, picking better, setting boundaries. They don’t find dates for you. See what a dating coach does.
What is the difference between a dating coach and a matchmaker?
A coach works on you. A matchmaker searches for people and introduces you. Matchmakers usually cost much more. Here’s the full matchmaker vs dating coach breakdown.
How much does a dating coach cost?
It depends on the format: single sessions, monthly coaching or packages. We list published prices with the date we checked them in dating coach cost.
Are dating coaches legit?
Some are great and some sell tactics that game people. Ask for a written price, a refund policy and what a session actually covers. Here are the red flags.
Who sees my request when I fill in the form?
Maya, and only Maya. If she knows a coach or matchmaker who fits, she emails you about an introduction and you decide.
Where do the prices on this site come from?
From each provider’s own published pages, or a dated report we link to, with the date we checked. Maya’s own stories are labeled as experiences, never as prices. More in our editorial policy.